Acceptance: Looking Inward

For as long as I can remember, being accepted by people was, and is, something that defines ones worth. Or at least that is what we are taught to believe when we are young, as though it is some kind of societal requirement. Growing up as a quiet, sometimes awkward, girl was a challenge and being accepted by my peers was even more challenging. People around me misunderstood me and were reluctant to accept me. ‘Fitting in’ just wasn’t something that was normal for me and I always felt like an outsider.

The reality is, and the hard lesson that I have learned, is that acceptance has little to do with anyone else. Acceptance is all about accepting myself for who and what I am, not about outward acceptance or what others think about me. As goes the saying, ‘it’s not you, it’s me;' it's about what I think of myself and this is more true about acceptance of one’s self than it is about anything else.

In recent years, I’ve had to own up to a lot of beliefs that I have carried with me and acceptance has been a major one. Relying on outward acceptance was holding me back from my true potential because I was consumed by the idea of what people thought of me and how I was being perceived. As my life has matured, I’ve given up the idea that I must be perfect for people to accept me. Of course everyone wants to be liked but I know now that I don’t need to give up my authentic self to be accepted. The more I continue to accept the parts of myself that I once hid because I was embarrassed or ashamed, the more I’ve become likable and accepted for my authentic self. After all, the more accepting you are of yourself the more likely others are to accept you.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in outward acceptance. I continuously remind myself that it is OK that not everyone will ‘get me.' No, I don’t have a huge social media following or 100 BFF’s, and I don’t need that to feel accepted. I am still quiet, and sometimes still awkward, and if that is not ‘acceptable’ to some, that is OK, I will still show them love and respect. I know that as long as I have not compromised my morals, or who I am, or imposed harm onto others, I will continue to fully accept myself.